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In our latest adventures in cracked-out AUs ('cause you know how we do) kel. and I came up with the Alias AU of our dreams. Just imagine it: Sark and Bristow Bristow and Sark Investigations.

For reasons not fully worked out but which are-- let me assure you-- extremely logical, former CIA agent Jack Bristow has started a private investigations firm. He has taken on as his partner former master criminal Julian Sark, a man who is putting his shady past to good use in pursuit of the more legitimate dollar. The men have a tentative trust and bicker a lot, but they're the best if you've got a problem you just can't take to the cops. The story would, of course, feature much in the way of post noir-ish narration courtesy Mr. Bristow and would probably start a little like:

It was another Tuesday. We hadn't had a case in three days and Sark was alternating between amusing himself by terrorizing our assistant with a loaded weapon and whining because the coffee from across the street tasted like swill and I was wondering what bitch I was going to have to choke. Then the door opened and everything changed.

Everything changed, of course, because a client walked in. A suave, rodent-like little man in round glasses and an expensive suit with a Mao-collar. Arvin Sloane. As fascinating as he is deadly. He would be bringing them a case. A problem involving three beautiful but deadly Russian women and a mysterious artifact. There might be a prophecy. But then, there might not, because Jack doesn't have a lot of time for bullshit. Sloane would need Bristow and Sark's help tracking the women down and recovering the artifact. Because kel. is partially in charge here and because there are conventions to be followed even in a cracked-out pseudo Sam Spade rip-off, Jack and Sloane would fall desperately in love, but resist and, of course, Sloane would betray Jack in the end, anyway.

Along the way, we'd meet Marcus Dixon, Jack's contact in the intelligence world and Marshall, their source for all things technological, weapon-like and cool. Jack and Sark would, of course, have a pleasant, straight-forward and witty assistant, Eric Weiss (yes, like Houdini). He'd always be trying to be more involved in their work and while a bright guy, he just wouldn't have the moral flexibility and ingenuity to be on Jack or Sark's level. But, (since I too have a wacky Alias OTP), Sark keeps him around because he's pretty and also fun to wave a gun at when he's bored. Throughout our story, we'd also come to find that Jack had a child from his mysterious marriage-- Sydney, a French caberet singer who works at a local bar. Sydney would visit the office occasionally on the way home from work in the morning and bring donuts and coffee from the shop across the street. Of course, this would all be a translucent excuse to spend time with the donut-boy, Michael Vaughn who is desperately in love with Sydney.

And so it goes in the world of wacky OTP-tastic AUs that our brains churn out like so much sawdust. Also, since I haven't posted in awhile, I feel that this is an opportunity to note that [ profile] peter_and_fran (aka the wacky OTP-tastic AU that we're actually writing) was updated on Wednesday with a part that I like to refer to as "the weeping". I always cackle after this. Because I like to make people cry. Or something. It will, as usual, also be updated later today, but kel.'s on top of that and she's been galivanting around the NY, so I am unsure on the time. Still, watch out for that.

Quick Long, rambling and possibly overly defensive thoughts about Lost , I think. I might be one of six people who feel this way, but I had little to no problem with Boone's death or how it played out. I really think it makes sense narratively for several reasons. Boone is one of the three sets of people who knew each other prior to the crash (Boone&Shannon, Sun&Jin and Michael&Walt), which I think is something that is useful in this kind of situation in order to supply someone that is automatically deeply affected by the death when other less entangled characters would (as we've seen with the other death) just keep on moving in the way that I assume you have to when trapped on a desert island where death is always hanging over the head. Looking at these pairs, I feel like Sun and Jin narratively both have a purpose right now and a story that can't be played out with only one of them. Walt is deeply tied to the mythology of the island and while they could probably have killed Michael because the raft story could continue with Jin, I think the narrative potential of Walt's grief is limited given that he's a child and also has already lost a parent.

Leaving Shannon and Boone. Both of them had created strong ties to one of the characters I think of as the top-tier principles (Jack, Locke, Kate, Sayid) with Shannon and Sayid's relationship and Boone and Locke's father-son thing. Given that we still haven't seen Shannon's story from her own POV and we have had Boone's great island revelation, Boone makes more sense to me. And ultimately, it's always seemed to me that in the eyes of JJ and Damon and the showrunners, they're telling the stories of Locke and Jack. (Something their comments in the Entertainment Weekly article this week confirmed for me). With Jack being the doctor and one with a savior complex at that, it seemed like whoever died would probably go through his hands at some point, so he's involved, but to keep Locke in the big story, the death had to be someone close to Locke. From the start, the character that had the strongest connection to creepy, island-infatuated Locke seemed destined to die. Early on, I thought that might be Walt, but then Boone became the guy. So, yeah, I wasn't surprised, but not because it was SO PREDICTABLE as because it seems to make sense to the story they're telling.

Whether there had to be an actual death to trigger the desanctification of John Locke and the concomitant Locke-Jack throw down is questionable, but since the creators promised a death, that was the device they used. Yeah, it was all set up to prove to the world that they did indeed have the balls to kill off a principle and not everyone (including Ian Somerholder and probably some of the other actors who were never sure if they'd have a job from one week to the next) thinks that that's a good plan, but frankly if you tell me you're gonna be the kind of people who'll kill someone important than I want the proof that you actually will.

I also am fine with the fact that the episode prior to this week's made it clear who was going to die. Not every story can be wedged into one hour and I got more out of the cliff-hanger of Boone's injury than I would have if the episode had been self-contained so that who died was a surprise.

Anyway, I'm still down with what the show is doing. I do think everything pivots around Locke and Jack and I think that that's how the narrative's been playing out. I would have liked it if one of the characters I liked less than Boone had been the one to go, but I think that Boone made sense and I'm excited to see the fall-out.

Another thing I really liked about this last episode was how well-used all the characters were. They all had at least a moment and played a role in the events and the forward-motion of the story in ways that allowed us to see something about how the character and maybe about how the characters had changed. Sun was fantastic and I loved Sawyer handing over his little boozes without even a question, let alone a protest.

This was also the week that officially sold me on Jack. I've been leaning towards liking him for a while, but the too-noble-to-live ratting out his dad in a way that just didn't work for me (going along with it until it turned out the woman was also pregnant) left me waffling, as did the continued romantic blah-blah-blah with Kate. But, the stuff with Sawyer when he was having eye problems and his behavior both on the island and in this week's flashback officially got me. His little "you fixed me" speech! The scene with his dad! The not being too crazy about Boone's death and the steely way he set off after Locke were all great. Whoo! Jack, I say now.

Other characters: Charlie, still more annoying than necessary. Jin, oh how I love and dude, Daniel Dae Kim has pretty pretty cheekbones. Kate, staying on the pleasant side of things. Sawyer, still enjoyable. Michael, wish he had more to do. Claire, the truth is that I don't much like her, but you know, whatev. Shannon & Sayid, the LOVE the love the love, they're so cute and I adored everything about their scenes together. Hurley, amusing. Sun, I love more with every bit of her character that we get. Boone, he did the death thing well and oh, all the secrets and things he takes to his grave. Walt, so cute when he was looking at the BABY. Locke, where are you?

Now I have one more task and then I watch Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. Mmmmm...relaxing day.

ALSO! imogen and I watched QAF 312-314 last night and they showed a new promo for the season 5 premiere. Want now, please and thank you. May 22, nownownownownownownow. Ahem.
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