I got up this morning, I got dressed, I did up my make-up and packed a bag and made a lunch. I put on my boots. And then imogen told me that she wasn't going to work today. Evil evil temptress! So, yes, called in. Or, emailed rather, because it's easier when I don't have to talk to anyone. kel. also stayed home, but that was pre-planned. We're having a bit of a sick-in-- you know, watching FotR
, catching up on LJ, making icons, hating people, etc. It's been enjoyable.
One of the things about watching FotR
is that there's Boromir. And I sometimes forget about Boromir until he's there in all his Sean Bean, complicated man, Gondor-lovin', dirty-haired glory. Man, do I looooove me some Boromir. The entire phenomenon is much like how when I watch RotK
, I remember Eomer. And the thing about Boromir and Eomer is that in some other place and time and space where Boromir isn't my DEAD Gondorian boyfriend, he'd still be part of the Fellowship when they meet the Rohirrim and he and Eomer would meet and there would be distrust, but ultimately, they're very of a type and they would, of course, become good friends and ultimately fall in love (because that's what happens, okay?) and ride horses and kill things with swords or spears and pull stray bits of things out of each other's filthy hair and discuss the merits of beard vs. just stubble. When not traversing Middle Earth, leading their armies and keeping the world of men free of any small bands of rogue evil doers and brigands, they'd split their time between Edoras and Gondor. In Gondor, they'd roll their eyes a lot when Aragorn goes on about how hard it is being the King of Men, because you know, they're still not kinds, but it's okay and they're mostly kidding 'cause he's their good friend and ally and really they wouldn't want to be kings anyway because neither of them is cut out for government work. And they'd have weekly dinners with Faramir and Eowyn and be fantastic uncles who help teach the children to ride and swordfight and tell them tales of war and halflings and all their storied ancestors and Boromir and Faramir would share a moment of bitter regret when Denethor was mentioned and later Eomer would listen as Boromir tells him about the time before his father lost touch with reality and--
OMG I'm completely insane, but it's all TRUE. Boromir/Eomer rivals Legolas/Gimli1
and Merry/Pippin as my LotR
OTP, except that, you know, THEY NEVER EVEN MEET ONE ANOTHER. Oh, the tragedy. But, the thing is, as crazy as all this is, it gets crazier because I realized that the solution to my problem is to create a universe where they can interact. And, clearly, the best way to do this is to write an au set in a boarding school for boys from wealthy and powerful Middle Earth families.2
Right? Right. Boromir and Eomer would be very popular, captain of the lacrosse team and the polo team, and good friends with Aragorn, the mysterious and somewhat troubled hot class president, beloved by the ladies of the nearby Finishing School and other typical boarding school tropes. And they spend a lot of time wearing ties and white button downs and mocking/defending Boromir's younger brother who does theater and math club. Even Legolas would show up as the strange foreign student whose obsession with cleanliness and lack of real facial expressions leaves everyone confused, but entranced. Of course, Legolas would only have eyes for his good family friend Aragorn and join all his committees and teams and he'd barely tolerate the coarseness of Aragorn's friends, but he would. And the whole thing would be run by Professor Gandalf. Uh-huh.
This is why I just want to stay home and get paid to write badfic ALL THE TIME. Because this is what I come up with just for kicks, I feel that if I were actually employed in such a task, I'd really really come up with some HORRIBLE ideas and just crank out the badness like it was so much popcorn from one of those crazy carnival popcorn popping carts or something.
Um. I feel that the conlusion to that psychotic break you all just witnessed would be to note that I've added some people to my friendslist on rec from trusted sources (kel. actually said to me "I can't say enough good things about her" in one case), so. Um. I'm not always this scary? Right3
. Let's go with that.
In other news, my dear friend girlcakes arrives in just a few hours. kel. and I will be picking her up at ye olde Logan airport and I am goddamned excited about that. I passed up a free trip to Miami, I like C so much and I can't wait for her to get here so we can talk about Orlando Bloom and what he'll explain next and watch Wizard People
(with aral! eeeep!) and make inappropriate jokes and watch the Shannon/Boone story play out in our hearts over and over and over. There may also be a fight to the death because it's Pats/Colts weekends and I'm pretty sure that both Tom Brady and Peyton Manning's heritage and sexual orientation will be brought into question. But, it might be tamed as we've invited people over during the time of the game and so can't actually watch it.1. Speaking of Legolas/Gimli (as I do) I may as well tell you now before kel. outs me, that I am also crazy about this topic. Because see, they're SO PERFECT. They're absolutely classic "I Hate You, We Must Fall In Love Later" romantic comedy set-up. The pretty blond is in love with an unattainable hottie (i.e. Aragorn) who is a great friend, but really truly in love with another. Enter the irritable, significantly less attractive man who represents everything the blond hates (i.e. poor hygiene, shortness, stupid one-liners) and who expresses nothing but contempt for the blond. The two are, of course, forced to work together and slowly slowly slowly develop and trust and a friendship and an understanding. As this is happening, the blond is learning about life and serious things (i.e. death, endangered hobbits, orcs) and coming to see that while the hottie is certainly the be all, end all of humanity, the blond needs to let him go for everyone's sake because who is he to mess with true love? And then! Just as he's given up on love, he looks to his side (or, behind him on the horse, perhaps) and there's this new friend. And after all they've been through together and all they've learned, they realize that they've created their own love. Then they kick the bad guy's ass and GO ON A HONEYMOON TO ONE ANOTHER'S HOMELANDS. Uh-huh.
2. I had to stop at this point to watch Boromir's death sequence. And OMG. That is to this day the only part of the three films that still makes me cry. It's SO AMAZING. That's a place where Jackson uses slo-mo to great effect. Merry and Pippin! Boromir thinks he's failed! Aragorn! OMG, WEEPING!
3. Things I would have posted about had the insanity not overtaken me: Lost, Augusten Burrough's Running With Scissors, work, Dead Guy pool, how there's a place where Sephora is across the hallway from Krispy Kreme and that place is my heaven. That's less scary, I promise.
Okay. That's all. OH! EXCEPT THIS: Orlando Bloom Explains...Terrorism/Lightning
. BEST THING EVER!