if you want i should

[smartlike]

Two ficlets:

For la_cspan because some things are AS BAD AS NO. Veronica Mars, Veronica/Logan, spoilers through 3.08
two truths and a lie

"Do you love me?" he asks and you want to roll your eyes, but you don't.

Once, what seems like a long time ago, you asked Logan if the two of you would ever be "normal." He made a joke, you made a joke, and that was it, business as usual. That was something like three lifetimes ago, but you wonder now what you meant and what, exactly, you wanted. You look away, blink, and some part of you thinks that if you could remember it would make everything a little easier.

**

"Do you love me?" He sounds almost exasperated, as if he thinks he shouldn't have to ask.

You think sometimes that you could divide your life up into case files like the ones in your dad's filing cabinet. Each mystery would have its own manila folder, all the evidence and paperwork neatly arranged inside, with a final summary on the last page that tells you who lied, and when, and how. You watch Logan clutch his hands into fists and you know that if you could open the cabinet and read every file, you'd know exactly who to trust and you would be able to sleep at night without worrying that you were the problem.

**

He repeats himself and then, frustrated, asks, "Do you love me?"

There isn't an answer, really. You're not sure what 'love' even means to other people. People who've never considered each and every person they know a suspect, who've never found themselves buried in a house of cards. What you want to tell Logan is that he doesn't love you, that even if he does, you can't be sure it matters at all. What you want to do is push him onto the sofa and ask him how he can even ask, after everything. What you really want, is to take it all back, every stupid question and every kiss that tastes like sun and sand and blood. Your eyes water and you make him wait, partially because he deserves the pain and partially because you do, and mostly because you can't decide which lie is closet to true.






For annakovsky because her icons conspire against me. The Office, Ryan/Kelly, no real spoilers
i will probably break up with you

Three Things Kelly Knows About Ryan:

1. Ryan is easily distracted. For example, if he's studying his business school stuff and Kelly sits across from him at the table, reading Cosmo and hums Britney's "Toxic" all the way through two or three times, he'll bite his lip, shut the book, and ask if she wants to go get a drink or something. Kelly always says yes.

2. Ryan is a pretty light sleeper. When Kelly sleeps at his house, if she wakes up and goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night, when she comes back, he'll always be awake too. His eyes will only be half-open, but he'll ask if she's okay and when she nods, he'll wait for her to get back into bed before closing his eyes all the way again.

3. Ryan calls his mother on Saturdays, usually in the morning. One time, when Kelly's looking under his bed for the new pink lace bra that disappeared under there the night before, she hears him say, "yeah, she's here. Okay, I'll tell her." He doesn't tell her anything, so she just keeps looking until she finds the bra. When she's dressed, she smiles wider than she wants to and says, "I should let you study."

He doesn't even look at his books when he says, "I was um-- Actually, I was thinking we could—Didn't you want to see that new movie? The one you were talking about last night?"

Kelly doesn't think he remembers what movie it is, but she knows that doesn't matter. Still, she tells him all over again as they head out to his car.




I don't know, man. That's where we're at. And now I need to sleep so I can get up bright and early and hit the Whole Foods. Fun times.

Comments

[frausorge]

Aw, Kelly. For some value of "easily"! I love the minuteness of the things she clings to. Really lovely.

[smartlikejustin.livejournal.com]

Heh, some value of "easily" indeed. Thank you so much!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Oh MAN. Waking up to fic dedicated to you that you DID NOT EVEN KNOW was coming is, like, the best feeling in the world.

I LOVE this Ryan/Kelly. It's just so weirdly sweet and underplayed and she likes him so much, and he secretly likes her, and him telling his mom about her - man. AWESOME.

[smartlikejustin.livejournal.com]

I am SO GLAD you enjoyed it. I cannot stop thinking about them-- they are so amusing and perfect, etc.

[moireach.livejournal.com]

RYAN/KELLY. Her cunning distraction techniques = vawes. Him being all sleepily concerned! His MOM knowing about her, even though he'll never admit it. Ftw.

[smartlikejustin.livejournal.com]

She is totally cunning, it's true.

Thank you!

[kirbybits.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE A MEAN PERSON WHO MADE ME TEAR UP A LITTLE. Thank you. :)

We totally need to rewatch the part at the end when she DOESN'T EVEN TAKE HIS PHONE CALL.

[smartlikejustin.livejournal.com]

I DO WHAT I CAN!

We totally do, though it will make me WEEP AND CURSE THE UNIVERSE.

[stella-pagan.livejournal.com]

Aww!!! Stumbled here by way of scranton_times, and I am immensely the better for it. I <3 Ryan and Kelly's relationship. It's so dysfunctional, but you know there's real affection there, and #2 killed me, because it's so subtle and simple and awwwwwwwwww.


Yeah, that made no sense. Oh, well. I enjoyed this immensely. :D

[smartlikejustin.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much! Your comments totally made sense and I am glad you enjoyed it. I love their relationship, too.